What Was Meant to Be
by oxWolfxstarxo
Summary: rated for mpreg, language, slash...and a lot of sex...When Sirius goes beyond the veil, he meets up with someone who can send him back to the land of the living so he can live his life the way it was meant to be lived. SBRL slash! COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

title: What was meant to be

rating: M

summery: Behind the Veil, someone offers to give Sirius another chance. Not just to return to the land of the living, but to go back and NOT be in Azkaban. This is the story of what Sirius' life would have been if he HADN'T switched with Peter. SB/RL. Mpreg mentioned. Miscarriage mentioned.

* * *

Sirius Black was lost...

...Sirius Black was cold...

...Sirius Black was---

"_Dead? _I...I can't be dead...I Can't...No...this-this isn't happening..." That fucking sign! The sign above his head that said, in such a taunting way too, 'Welcome To Death, Population, Infinite! Have a nice afterlife!"

Oooh, but Sirius already HATED that sign!

"This is NOT a good time for me to be dead! And I am NOT having a nice afterlife, Thanks!" he yelled.

"Don't yell at the sign, Sirius. It didn't do anything to you." Sirius recognized that voice. And it really wasn't what he wanted to hear after he had just found out he was dead!

"...Regulus." Sirius turned around to face his brother.

"Hi Sirius."

"What do you want? Come to taunt me even after death? Wonderful. Just peachy...Just my crummy luck."

"Sirius..."

"Are mum and dad here too, Reg? Are they going to come and tell me what a bad son I still am? And what a _dishonorable _death I had? Well--"

"Sirius, please listen to me--"

"I didn't have much of a choice, I would have chosen a much better death as well, I'm not proud you know, falling through a bloody CURTAIN! That's lovely. That's how I'll be remembered! Sirius Black, becomes an Animagi, escapes azkaban, foils the ministry and...is killed by fucking drapes!"

"Sirius, I'm not---"

Sirius ran a shaking hand through his hair "Fuck, I need a---" a glass of water appeared in his hand "...drink." he finished lamely.

Regulus raised an amused eyebrow at him "Are you done rantingyet? Can I say what I need to say?"

Sirius gulped down his water and nodded "Yes, I'm done."

"Good. Well, you know how people always say when you get to 'heaven' or whatever the fuck you believe in, someone's waiting for you or whatever?"

"Yes..."

"Well, yeah. Here I am..."

"Funny, I always thought James would come and get me..." Sirius muttered.

"Well, I volunteered, Sirius, okay? And trust me, I think you'd rather have me here."

"Oh yeah? Well you thought wrong." Sirius began to walk away.

"Sirius, Wait! I mean it! You'll be gladI got you!"

"I highly doubt that, Regulus."

"Please,for once, listen to me! It's...It's important..."

"Regulus, I really--"

"Sirius, I want to give you the chance that I didn't have when I got here! Please listen to me!"

Sirius sighed and looked at his little brother. The look on his face. He looked desperate...god he was so young...He died so young...19. His life was just starting...

"What is it, Regulus."

"I want to give you the chance to...to go back--"

Sirius opened his mouth to tell him he was-- "I'm not crazy, Sirius. When I got here, I was given the chance to go back. Back to...back to when I decided to be a deatheater--well, when Father decided, anyway-- And to fix my mistakes...I was going to run away, like you did. I was going to come to you and beg you to let me stay with you. And tell you how sorry I was...I was too afraid to go against what Father wanted. He was dying...I couldn't do that to him when he was dying--"

"You could have." Sirius muttered, his voice was thick with emotion though.

"I couldn't! He was my father, Sirius, _your_ father!"

"I left."

"I wasn't _you. _No matter how badly I wanted to be, I wasn't you."

"...How'd father die?" Sirius asked quietly.

Regulus sighed. "He...He was old, Sirius...He got sick. Right after you left, he got really sick...And We--well...Bellatrix, Narcissa and I...We all thought he was going to pull through...But one day...Kreacher came into my room and he...he said he found Father's body in the study. He was dead...It wasn't until I died, myself, that I found out, directly from him, Mother poisoned him."

Sirius bit the inside of his mouth. Why was he this upset? He hated his Father...but still...his _father..._

"Sirius...?"

"...Yeah?" his voice sounded a little strangled.

"Are you...Are you okay?"

"...Yeah...I'm...why wouldn't I be? I'm fine."

Regulus shook his head sadly. "Sirius, It's---"

"It must've been horrible for you...I know that you..you always tried to get close to him..."

"Yeah, it was bad. But it's okay. I got over it...and then I died too...and I found him and...he's different now Sirius, He talks about you. He realizes what he did wrong. And he's paid dearly for it."

"How?"

"He lost you, didn't he? I think that was a high enough price." Regulus watched his brother for a moment before going on, "Anyway. back to the situation at hand...When I got here, Father gave me the same chance I'm about to give you...but...I didn't take it, for the same reason he didn't when it was offered to him."

"Why didn't you take it?"

"I was afraid. He was afraid...We were both afraid that we'd go and make the same mistakes...But you Sirius, I know you wont. I know you're going to do the right thing...People need you. Potter needs you...and..."

"...Remus." Sirius shivered slightly. "Remus needs me...he...he needs me..."

"Remus is dying."

"What?" Sirius looked up at his brother with big, worried eyes.

"He's dying. You left and this time he knows you're not coming back. He's a werewolf. And you're his mate. And if his mate dies, which you did...well...he dies too. Slowly. And very, very painfully."

"Moony...He's...he's dying...he's in pain...he could be in so much pain right now and I..I can't even help him..." he felt tears stinging his eyes.

"You _can_ help him. I'm sending you back. you can change everything, Sirius. It's in your power. Please take this chance..."

Sirius was shaking all over. "Can..Can I see him? Can I see Remus?"

"Yes. I can show him to you...but...I don't think you'll like it..."

"Show him to me..."

Regulus nodded "Okay." he offered his hand to his brother. "Hold on."

Sirius hesitated at first, but took it. And with a loud 'POP' they were standing in his old room back in Grimmuald's Place.

And there was Remus...His love..._his. _But he looked so pale...and he was shaking. He was in pain.

"Remus..." Sirius mouthed, but the words didn't come out of his mouth.

"Remus." And THAT wasn't Sirius' voice.

A young girl, her hair was bright blue, sat at Remus' bedside. Tonks...

"Remus...is there anything I can get you?"

Remus opened one eye, bloodshot and fading. Not the bright amber and gold Sirius loved. "No...just...nothing..."

"Remus...I...I'm so sorry...I wish there was something I could do...I--"

"There's nothing you can do, Tonks."

But then Tonks' face began to change. Her hair turned black and went to shoulder length. Her nose changed and the shape of her round face angled out. And her eyes turned from bright blue to dark, cloudy gray. And Sirius felt like he was staring at a mirror Image.

"Sirius..." Remus whimpered. And Sirius, well, Tonks really...leaned down and kissed him. When they broke apart, Sirius could see it in Tonks' eyes...Remus wouldn't live much longer...

"S-Sirius..." Remus half sobbed. Tonks-Sirius bit her/his lip and nodded "Yeah, Moony. I'm here..."

The real Sirius felt sick. He tried to reach out and touch his lover, but his hand went right through him."Moony...Remus, I'm here, love..." Remus couldn't hear him..."Regulus...I want to leave...get me out of here...I can't...He's..I love him...I love him so much..." Regulus nodded and with another loud 'pop' they were back in...well...wherever the hell they started.

"Are you okay...?"

"I have to help him...I have to...He's in so much pain...I can't..I..."

"You'll go back then? You'll do it?" Regulus looked hopefull.

"I have to."

Regulus broke in to the first real smile Sirius had seen from him since they were kids...

"Then there are a few things you have to know. First of all, I'm sending you back to the year 1983--"

"'83," Sirius repeated, "But that's--"

"Three years after you were sent to Azkaban, I know. Don't worry, as long as you made the right decision, which you did, it'll be fine. Harry lives with you--"

"But, Lily and James---"

"I'm sorry Sirius, but I cant bring everyone back from the dead, Just you." Regulus really did seem sorry about it too. "You and Remus have been married for three years, you proposed to him just after Polaris was born--"

"What?"

"...Remus never told you, did he?" Regulus seemed a little shocked.

"Told me what?" Sirius was confused.

"Well...um...a few days before you were arrested...Remus found out that he was pregnant...and He was going to tell you, but then you got arrested..."

"Then...Do I have a kid somewhere that I don't know about?"

"No...Unfortunately, after you left, The wolf got very angry and...Remus had a miscarriage."

Sirius felt a pang in his heart. He and Remus would have had a baby.

"It's okay. You're going to fix it, Sirius. Polaris is the same age as Harry, a few months younger. She's got black hair and brown eyes and..."

"And what?"

"...And lycanthropy."

Sirius nodded slowly.

"Remus was devastated when the doctors told him. There was nothing they could do. She's okay though. Since she was born with it it isnt as bad on her as it is on Remus."

Sirius nodded again "Anything else I should know?"

Regulus nodded "One more thing. Mum is still alive back in '83, so just watch out for her. She likes to er...stop by..."

"Okay...That it?"

"That's it. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready."

The two brothers stared at each other for a long time before taking each other in a fierce hug. "Good luck Sirius."

"Thank you. Good Bye Regulus."

"For now. Yes."

And with another loud 'POP!' everything went dark...

and Sirius as falling...

and falling...

and...Hitting the ground!

He sat bolt straight up and looked around. He didn't recognize the room at all.

"Siri..." Remus' drowsy voice rang through the dark room. "Siri, love...what's wrong? It's6 am on a Saturday, you don't have to be up yet...go back to sleep..."

Sirius was breathing hard as he looked around. Remus sat up slowly. Sirius turned to look at him. He was so young...His hair wasn't graying yet at all...he was beautiful...How old were they? Regulus told him the year was 1983...1983...how old was he in 1983? 25? He was 25 years old?

"Love? Are you okay?" Remus' hands were on his bare shoulders. Remus' hands felt wonderful.

"I...I'm fine...Just...bad dream, I guess...Fuck...Regulus, I need to talk to Regulus..." Sirius' voice shook.

Remus gave him a concerned look "Sirius...love, what's wrong?"

"Regulus...I need to---"

"Sirius..." Remus said slowly "Regulus...he's been dead for four years...Are you sure you're okay, my love?"

"Yes, I Just---"

'knockknockknock.'

Remus sighed "They're up..."

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!" The voice of a little girl...his little girl...Polaris...

"Dad and Daddy are trying to sleep, Puppy." Remus sighed.

"Uncle Padfoot, I want pancakes!" That was Harry...

"Later, Harry, give Padfoot and Moony another hour." Remus rubbed his temples.

"No, Moony, It's fine, I'll get up. I cant get back to sleep anyway." Sirius got up out of bed.

Remus smiled a bit "Alright. suit yourself, I guess...I'm going to take a shower then." Remus got up out of bed and...Merlin, he wasn't wearing anything...Sirius could feel that oh-so-familiar feeling start up in the pit of his stomach.

Remus obviously noticed him staring. He grinned as he picked up his bathrobe off the floor "Like what you see, Black?"

Sirius licked his lips "..I fucking love you..."

Remus put on his robe and went back to his lover, kissing him sweetly on the lips "I love you too. Now go feed the Dynamic Duo."

Sirius pulled on a pair of pants, realizing he too wasn't wearing anything (hmm...gee, I wonder what _they_ did last night...) and opened the door, only to be jumped on by two three year olds, one that looked like a Mini James with green eyes and glasses much to large for his face, and the other that looked like a mini, female version of himself with bright golden eyes.

"DADDADDADDDAD!" Polaris was hugging onto his leg.

"Yes princess? what is it?" Sirius smiled down at her. She was very small, even for a three year old. A trait she probably got from Remus.

"Pick me up?" Polaris tugged on his pants "Pweeeeeaaaaase!"

Sirius bent over and picked her up. Merlin, she had beautiful eyes. They were Remus' eyes but, if possible, they were even bigger. She had inherited his own long eyelashes, a common trait of the Blacks, and had the cutest little nose Sirius had ever seen. The mouth, definitely his own, he could practically see his own trademark smirk on the little girl's face. Her hair was very long and her bangs fell gracefully into her eyes in a way that only a Black could ever accomplish. And Sirius couldn't get over just how small she was, even for a three year old. He wondered briefly if Remus had been this small as a child. He knew Remus had always been on the small side, really, he and James always teased him about it...James...He looked down at Harry. If this wasn't James' green-eyed twin...Sirius felt a pang in his chest...

"Uncle Padfoot, I'm hungwy!" whined the mini-Prongs.

"Wha--? Oh Sorry, Harry." And that's when he realized...He didn't quite know where the kitchen was...shit...what was he going to do..."Uh...Harry, why don't you run ahead..."

"'Otay." The boy ran ahead of them into the kitchen and Sirius followed, listening to Polaris tell about her dream about unicorns and bunnies.

Sirius smiled and nodded and continued to listen to Polaris rant on and on about her dream. "And then the unicorn flew away on the magic carpet and...Dad, I want a pony." she concluded.

Sirius kissed her on the nose and she giggled "Maybe some day, Puppy."

"Why not now?"

"Because I said so." came Remus' voice from behind them. "Siri, I thought you were going to make Pancakes for the kids..."

"Oh...yeah, I was...I just got distracted."

"Mhmm...Well, you seemed a little off this morning...so I didn't really want to trust you in the kitchen. Go sit with the kids, I'll make breakfast." Remus started taking out ingredients.

Sirius sat at the table, no sooner had he sat down, he had Polaris climbing into his lap.

Remus turned and smiled at them "Polaris, give Dad a minute to himself, will you?"

Sirius just shook his head "It's fine, moony." Polaris snuggled up in his lap "Dad, how far do you love me?"

Sirius blinked "really, far, love." Polaris frowned slightly "Daaad!''

Remus turned and gave him a look that clearly said 'what is wrong with you today?'

Sirius bit his lip "er..."

"Dad! you love me to the stars and back, remember?" Polaris tilted her head to the side slightly like a puppy.

Sirius nodded and grinned ''of course I remember, love." maybe he should start taking notes on things he should remember...

After breakfast, Harry and Polaris went to their shared room to play, And Sirius helped Remus clean the kitchen the best he could, but kept putting things in the wrong places. As he was going to put away the dishes, accidentally opening the cabinet where the snacks went, Remus gently took the plate from his hand and placed it on the counter.

"Siri, is something wrong? You...you seem so confused today...I'm worried..."

Sirius leaned against the counter "I'm fine, love. I'm just tired, I guess."

"Tired? Have you not been sleeping well? Are you sick?" Remus seemed very concerned. Sirius didn't want to worry him. "No, love. I'm not sick."

"Is it work? Has Moody been overworking you?"

Sirius blinked "What?"

"Well, you're right, you're an auror, you're supposed to work a lot...Maybe you should take a few days off...we can take the kids somewhere...Or we can drop them off with my mum and go somewhere on our own." A sly grin had appeared on Remus' face and it made Sirius' stomach squirm gleefully. Sirius grinned and pulled Remus close to him, "Mmm...alone with you...maybe a long weekend somewhere...I'd like that." he smirked. Remus leaned in and kissed him, "I would too. Paris maybe?"

"Wherever you want, love." Sirius nodded. Remus' smile widened and he wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck "I love you."

Sirius kissed him softly "I love you too...Sorry I worried you so much..."

"It's okay...Siri..."

"Yes love?"

"...why were you talking about Regulus this morning?" Remus was playing with his hair and it felt sooo good.

Sirius shook his head "It was nothing, love..."

"You seemed upset...you haven't talked about Regulus in years..."

"I...I dreamed about him last night...About when he died."

Remus sighed "Love, I'm sorry...it must have been hard for you...I know how badly you wanted to help him..."

Sirius nodded "It's okay." And Remus kissed him again. Their kiss was a little more forceful this time, more passionate. Remus pressed their bodies together so that Sirius was stuck tightly between his lover's body and the kitchen counter, not that Sirius was complaining in any way. Ooh, it felt so good to have Remus back in his arms…the time he had spent behind the veil, though very brief, had been too much away from his lover.

Sirius let himself get lost in the kiss, momentarily forgetting the kids in the room down the hall. His hands slid down to grip Remus' ass causing the werewolf to moan lightly into his mouth. Remus pulled away, smirking wickedly at him "you're very enthusiastic today, love…Not that you aren't usually, anyways...but…you usually at least wait until we're in the bedroom…"

Sirius buried his face in Remus' neck, pressing kisses to the sensitive skin and dragging a moan out of the small man. "Can't wait, Moony…too beautiful…"

Remus tilted his head back slightly, "Oh Siri…" he gasped lightly as Sirius nipped at his neck in just the right place. "It's….It's been so long since we…" another gasp "since did it in the kitchen…." A Moan "or…really anywhere besides the bedroom, now that I think of it…"

Sirius looked up at him, eyes wide "Even the shower?" that had always been his favorite place, besides the bed.

"The shower…must have been a year at least since we did it in the shower, love…" Remus panted. Sirius felt like a crime had been committed if he hadn't fucked Remus in the shower in almost a year…

Remus kissed him again "Don't stop Siri, please…"

Sirius went back to work, kissing Remus' neck and reaching to undo the button on his blue muggle jeans. He switched their positions so that Remus was leaning against the counter and slipped his hand down into his pants and passed his boxers to stroke him roughly. Remus let out a strangled cry and let his head fall forward onto Sirius' shoulder, tightening his hold on him. Sirius' fingers wrapped around his cock, running along from base to tip causing Remus to half moan, half sob against his shoulder.

"Sirius! Oh Sirius…Siri…I'm going to…oh! I'm so close…!"

"…Daddy, what're you doing?" came a little voice from the doorway of the kitchen. Sirius and Remus jumped apart so fast, one might question themselves on weather or not they really saw Sirius' hand down Remus' pants.

"N-nothing, sweetheart…" Remus panted. Polaris blinked her large gold eyes and stared at her parents with utmost confusion.

"It sounded like you was getting hurted, Daddy…" The three year old had her tiny thumb in her mouth.

"No, love, Daddy's fine…" Sirius mentally mourned the loss of his, and most likely Remus', erection.

Polaris just blinked several more times at them and they stood silently and awkwardly. "Otay….Dad, can I have a cookie?"

"Love, you just had breakfast." Remus shook his head.

"Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?" she begged. Oh those eyes! The puppy-eyes! How could Sirius fall for that? He INVENTED that look!

"Polaris Aphrodite Lupin-Black, stop that. You know you can't have cookies until after lunch time."

"B-but…" Polaris pouted.

"Pole, listen to Daddy." Sirius was trying not to focus on The Puppy Eyes.

The little girl huffed and went back to her room. Remus rested his head on Sirius' shoulder "that was so embarrassing."

"At least she has no idea what was going on. It'd be worse if she was older."

Remus nodded "Yes…I'm sorry love, we'll have fun tonight. I promise." He kissed Sirius' cheek.

"It's okay. I'm getting you in that shower before the night is over weather you like it or not." Sirius grinned and lightly slapped Remus' butt. Remus grinned "I'm sure you I will like it." They kissed briefly and Remus took an opportunity to redo his pants. "Ugh, want to help me dress the two terrors?"

Sirius nodded "Sure."

When they got to the room, the next twenty minutes consisted of chasing the kids around the room.

"NOOOOOOOOO! Daddy, I don't want to get dressed!" Polaris whined once Remus had caught her, finally.

"Well, that's too bad, because you have to….Lift your arms up." Remus sighed, tugging a pink and yellow shirt over the girl's head.

Sirius was having an easier time with Harry. Well, an easier time dressing him anyways…

"Padfoot…?"

"Yes Harry?" Sirius asked, pulling Harry's PJ's up over his head.

"…Why doesn't Polaris have a Pe---" Sirius' hand was over Harry's mouth in a spilt second. "Whoooa! Harry…that…that's not something you should be concerned with yet…"

Remus chuckled lightly "He's curious, love. You can tell him."

"Uhh…w-well…Um…Remus, shouldn't we wait until he's like…10-ish, before the birds and the bees talk?"

Remus shook his head "if you tell him now, he'll respect girls more when he's older. My dad told me when I was his age."

Sirius blinked "…and you remembered it?"

"It scarred me for life, of course I remember…" Remus nodded. Then he added as an after thought "…could be why I turned out liking other boys at such an early age though...go on and tell him, Padfoot."

"W-well…Harry…you see…Polaris…Polaris is a girl and…And g-girls…They have…they don't have…they don't have what you have."

Harry blinked, "…Why?"

Sirius could feel his face getting redder by the second "B-because…Because…"

"Because girls don't need it." Remus explained. Remus was always a good teacher. "You see, Harry, Girls and boys are different because…"

The next twenty minutes resulted in a giggling Polaris and Harry, and a blushing Sirius. Remus seemed un-phased as he told the three year olds about 'the birds and the bees' so to speak. At the end, Harry seemed satisfied with the answer….Polaris looked like she was deep in thought.

"Polaris, what's wrong?"

Polaris frowned, brow furrowed, obviously thinking hard. "Why do I have two daddies?"

This seemed to throw both Remus and Sirius off. "Uh...w-well..." Remus stuttered. Sirius smirked "go on and tell her, Moony."

"Sirius!"

"It's okay, she's curious."

"Don't mock me!"

"She's at a good age to hear it, love!"

"SIRIUS BLACK!" Remus tackled his lover to the ground. Harry and Polaris watched, giggling as the adults wrestled on the floor. Remus pinned Sirius down "Ha! I win!"

Sirius grinned up at him "Oh really? well, what if I tickle you!" Remus' eyes went wide "...You wouldn't..." "oh...wouldn't I?" "Siri, No!" Remus gasped and Sirius started to tickle him. and then Sirius had him pinned down. "Now I win."

Remus rolled his eyes "You cheated! Tickling is cheating!"

Sirius sat up "Since when?"

"Since like...4th year when you tickled me until I had to get an oxygen spell from Madam Pomfrey!"

"Oh yeah..." he grinned, "No matter...I'll win a different way.''

''Really? how?"

"Same wayI won in 6th year." He re-pinned Remus and kissed him hard on the mouth.

"Eeeeeeeeeew!" Harry and Polaris squealed. "They're doing the growed-up thing!"

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly, Sirius only got lost once on the way to the bathroom, but found it before Remus found out. At six o'clock Remus was cooking dinner. Sirius went up behind him and wrapped his arms round his waist, nuzzling into his neck.

"Ouch! Siri...careful, it's still sore..." Remus winced slightly. Sirius blinked "What's sore? did you hurt your neck last month? What's--"

"What's wrong? I should ask you the same thing...I mean, I know you said you were tired...but...you've been getting lost in the house all day...you're forgetting things like your 'How far do you love me' thing with Polaris...you've been doing that since she was born...And now...this..." Remus reached to touch the spot on his neck.

Shit...of course...How could he forget? Remus had his werewolf registry number on the back of his neck. He remembered Remus telling him about it once. It must have been horrible...The number (0003480W) was burned into the back of his lover's neck with silver. All werewolves had to get them at a certain age, depending on when they were bitten. Technically, Remus should have gotten his when he was 15, but Dumbledore had made some deal with the ministry to put it off until he was older...they must have made him do it just recently.

"...I don't know what I would have done without you being there with me, Pads..."

But he hadn't been there at all...had he? He wanted to remember all the things he had supposedly done with Remus...he wanted to Remember Polaris being born...her first birthday...her second...third...But he didn't. "I...I'm sorry Moony...I just...It slipped my mind. I'm sorry..."

"Slipped your mind? Lucky you..." Remus sighed and went back to making dinner. ''Remus...Rem, love, I'm sorry, I'm just confused right now because I--"

"Siri...You...you would tell me, right? You would tell me if there was really something wrong. You would." Remus was saying it to reassure himself. "...Wouldn't you?"

"Yes. Remus, of course I would...I love you. You believe me, right?"

Remus nodded and turned around to face his husband. "I do. I believe you...I'm sorry...I just always worried you'll leave me if something better comes along...you deserve so much better then me, Sirius..."

Sirius hugged him tightly ''Don't say that, Moony. Don't you ever say that.I love you so much."

Remus hugged back, burying his face in Sirius' chest.

After dinner they got the kids ready for bed. Polaris didn't put up as much of a fuss this time about getting dressed. once Harry and Polaris were settled into bed and had said their goodnights ("How far do you love me Dad?" Polaris asked, yawning. "To the stars and back, princess.") Sirius and Remus went into their own room. Remus was reading some romance novel on the bed and Sirius was lying beside him.

"Those are for old house wives who don't havea sex life of their own Moony!" Sirius whined. "And you havea sex life!A good sex life!'' he had always ranted like this to Remus. "...wait...we DO have a good sex life don't we?"

Remus smiled up at him and kissed him on the nose "Of course we do, love." he put his book mark in and set his book on the table. "Love...I'm going to take a shower..." he stood up and gave Sirius a very distinct look that sent a shiver upSirius' spine and they both went to the bathroom, kissing and touching as they went. They closed and locked the door and placed multiple silencing charms on the walls before undressing each other. As Sirius kissed the scars on Remus' chest, Remus somehow found it in him to reach over and turn the water on in the shower. They stepped under the hot spray of water and Sirius pressed him up against the cool tiles, kissing down his neck and chest. Remus grabbed Sirius' long dark hair as Sirius moved lower down his body, dipping his tongue into his bellybutton. "Siri..."

"Patients, love." Sirius teased moving lower still until he reached just what he wanted so badly to taste again. He closed his lips over the head of Remus' cock and swirled his tongue around it pulling a sharp gasp from his lover. Remus was pulling Sirius' hair, but not hard enough to hurt much, and he was rambling under his breath "Siri...Siri...oh! My love...that mouth..." Sirius swallowed him down further into his throat working him with his tongue, hands rubbing his thighs. Oh Remus wasn't going to last very long...He was already half sobbing Sirius' name, a sure sign he was going to come. and with a shudder and a moan, he spilt his hot come into Sirius' willing mouth.

Sirius swallowed and stood up, catching Remus as his knees gave out. Remus leaned against him, arms around his neck, head on his chest. Sirius reached for a bottle of body wash, _Strawberry scented. Remus you utter woman..._ He thought affectionately as he began to wash his lover's spent body. When they were both clean, they stepped out of the shower and Sirius wrapped a towel around Remus and grabbed another for himself.

They hadn't bothered to get dressed before lying down in bed together. Remus had his head on Sirius' chest listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat, and Sirius was holding his hand, kissing his fingertips. When they were in Hogwarts, Remus had constantly been afraid that when he woke up, Sirius wouldn't be there anymore. Like He'd disappear in the middle of his night. So at night when he slept he kept his head on Sirius' chest, to hear his heart, and the tip of Sirius' index finger in his mouth, comforting himself with Sirius' taste. He had done that when Sirius came back from Azkaban as well...And if Sirius had removed his finger, Remus would wake with a start, desperately looking around to make sure his lover was still there. Sirius found that Remus was quite right...it did help to ensure that his mate was indeed still lying beside him.

Sirius couldn't remember a time where he slept better. well...maybe at Hogwarts...but this was different. He had really been given a second chance. He woke up in the morning to the feeling of Remus' hands gently stroking his hair. He leaned closer into the touch and gave a content sigh.

"Siri...are you awake?"

''Mhm..."

Remus smiles lovingly and continued to play with his hair "I love you.''

''love you too...Wha' time'sit?''

"Almost 9."

''Kids still sleeping?" Sirius yawned.

"Mmm...Don't jinx it, my darling...'' Remus began kissing his jaw, hands roaming down his bare chest. Sirius ached under the touch of his lover. This was how it was meant to be. Always. Together. Nothing to take them away from each other.  
Sirius hissed as Remus' fingers found and pinched his nipple, and then moaned when his warm, wet tongue lapped at the abused nub soothingly. His hands moved lower, traveling down his chest and stomach, dipping into his bellybutton and following the trail of fine black hair to what they searched for so desperately. Sirius felt his cock spring to life immediately under Remus' cleaver fingers. He heard Remus chuckle lightly.

"Mmm...good morning..." His voice was so sexy...he hand wrapped around Sirius' aching cock and slowly stroked. Sirius' head fell back and he moaned. Moony had always been quite a morning person...

Sirius arched up into his love's hand, wanting more. "Oh Moony...want you...need to be inside of you..." it made Remus visibly shiver with pleasure "Mmm...Yes my love..." Remus rolled onto his back in a very submissive manner. Sirius straddled his hips and they both moaned deep in their throats when their hard cocks brushed against each other. Remus reached up and wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck and he willingly parted his legs. Sirius ground their hips together making them both gasp and moan.It felt too perfect to be with the man he loved again. Sirius would forever be grateful to his brother for helping him get back to his love. Sirius looked to the bedside table in hopes of spotting some form of lubrication but nothing was there. He reached over and desperately groped around the top drawer where Remus had usually kept it in school. Nothing. Sirius whimpered in frustration. Remus frowned up at him and casually reached under Sirius' pillow, pulling out a small vial of oil.

"...Looking for this, love?"

Sirius blinked rapidly and took the vial from him, quickly uncapping it and pouring some into his hand. It smelled strongly of Coconut, which for some reason amused Sirius...when did Remus have a coconut fetish...?

He was torn from his thoughts as Remus whimpered desperately and arched beneath him. "Siri..."

Sirius put the oil back under his pillow and reached down to slip one finger teasingly into Remus, making the smaller man squirm in attempt to impale himself further onto the invading didget. Remus whimpered and squirmed and begged for more as Sirius began to, very slowly, fuck him with one finger.

"Siri...Siri, please...I need you...don't tease me, love..." Sirius just added a second finger, smirking as his lover sobbed for him. "Sirius, please!"

Sirius leaned down and nipped at his ear gently "What is it you want, my sweet?"

"You. Only you, my love."

"More specific, my darling."

"Siri we don't have time for specifics, I want you to fuck me!"

Sirius grinned, satisfied with the answer and removed his fingers, pressing the tip of his cock to Remus' opening and thrust in. Remus arched up off the bed to take more of him in. When he was all the way inside, he looked up into Remus' eyes which were filled with love and devotion. Sirius smiled down at him, brushing a strand of hair from his eyes "Love you Moony."

Remus smiled back "I love you too Padfoot. Always."

Sirius licked his lips and started to pull out almost all the way before thrusting himself back in. He thrust in and out hard and fast and Remus' fingers grabbed his hair as he began to move with him. It had been far too long for Sirius. He knew then and there that no matter what he'd never leave his lover again. Not for anything. As he silently promised his lover this, he felt Remus tighten around him and he reached between them to pump his cock, bringing him to his orgasm. Remus cried out for him as he came over their stomachs and Sirius' hand, and after one last thrust Sirius was spilling into him.

Sirius collapsed on top of him, panting. Remus clung to him desperately and Sirius carefully pulled out of him, rolling off to lay at his side. He gently gathered the werewolf into his arms, holding him close and Remus' breathing calmed and he nuzzled against Sirius' chest, tracing the well formed muscles there with his fingertips.

"I love you so much, Siri."

"I love you too Rem. And I'll never leave you. ever." not again. Remus smiled and snuggled up closer to his husband's chest. Sirius stroked his hair gently, loving the way Remus melted to his touch. Nothing could ruin such a perfect moment...nothing...except...

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Polaris." Sirius and Remus sighed in unison. "What love?" Remus called to the girl who was pounding rapidly on the bedroom door.

"HAWWY PULLED ON MY PIGTAILS!"

"I DID NOT!"

"YOU DID TOO!"

"DID NOT!"

Remus sighed and buried his face into Sirius' chest "It's going to be a long morning..."

Sirius smiled and shook his head "C'mon love," he gave Remus' ass a light smack "Get that sweet ass up."

"That 'sweet ass' is sore from your--"

"DADDY! HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!"

Remus sighed "Harry James Potter! Leave Polaris' hair alone!"

"DADDY! PUT HIM IN TIME OOOOUT!" The little girl sobbed.

"One of these days I'll get to stay in bed passed ten in the morning..." Remus pouted, sitting up and grabbing his wand from the bedside table, using a cleaning spell on both him and Sirius, who had also sat up. Remus smiled softly at Sirius. "Love, you can stay in bed. You have to work tomorrow. You should get more sleep. You don't get enough." he kissed Sirius' cheek. Sirius shook his head "I'm young, Moony. I'm fine." he grinned and got up, pulling on a pair of jeans, not bothering with a shirt, which he knew Moony liked.

Remus got fully dressed and opened the door to the bedroom only to have little Polaris run in and jump into Sirius' lap, burrowing into his chest.Harry chased in after her "I didn't do it!"

"Harry James, are you lying to me?" Remus folded his arms, looking stern. Sirius had a flashback of prefect-Remus back in fifth year, scolding him and James for taunting the first years. The look on Harry's face was identical to that of which James had had.An attempted look of 'Who me? I don't know what you're talking about Moony.' that could never really be accomplished. "Harry." Remus frowned.

Harry just sighed, defeated.

"That's what I thought. After breakfast you're to sit in your room for fifteen minutes. no coming out."

Harry's mouth fell open "fifteen minutes? B-but...that's almost...That's almost...almost 16!" he looked at Sirius, obviously hoping for Sirius to tell Remus that he was being unfair and to give the poor boy a break. Sirius just shrugged, feeling sympathy for Polaris because when he and James used to fight in school, James would pull his hair, HARD. and it HURT!"Sorry, pal."

Polaris was giggling into Sirius' chest.

"And what about you, Missy?" Remus turned his gaze onto the little girl. "Why was Harry pulling your hair?" Polaris stopped giggling.

"She took my favorite teddy bear and she wouldn't give it back!" grumbled Harry, who was clinging to Remus' leg. Polaris was going through that 'everything is mine' phase apparently because Remus sighed "Polaris, again?"

"He wouldn't let me play!" Polaris pouted.

"you're not allowed to play with Mr.Cuddles, Polaris. You know that." Remus sighed.

"Why?" Polaris was starting to whine now.

"A'cuz he's from _my_ mommy and daddy!" Harry pouted.

"So?"

"Polaris, Mr. Cuddles is very important to Harry. What would you do if me and your dad were gone and someone tried to take Snuffles from you?" Remus reasoned calmly.

Snuffles must have been the stuffed black dog Polaris was clinging to her chest, Sirius decided.

Polaris huffed.

"you would be sad, right?" Remus asked. Polaris nodded. "That's why you can't take Mr. cuddles. Okay?"

Polaris nodded again "Okay Daddy."

"Now what do you say to Harry, Polaris?"

"I'm sowwy."

"Very good. And Harry..."

"I'm sowwy for puwlling your hair Pole."

Remus smiled "Good. Now, who wants breakfast?"

"ME!" Harry and Polaris ran out the door into the kitchen. Remus turned to Sirius, smiling weakly. Sirius stood and crossed the room to his lover, wrapping his arms around him "That was very well done, love. All those years bossing me and James around did you good."

Remus nuzzled his neck affectionately "Mmm, and you said it was annoying and I should stop nagging."

"It _was_ annoying. And you _should've_ stopped nagging us. But I love you anyway." Sirius kissed him sweetly on the lips. Remus pinched him on the arm "Oy! you don't get to say that about me and then just kiss me and--"

"Shut up, Moony." Sirius kissed him again. Remus melted against him, smiling against his lips. He broke away from the kiss and rested his head on Sirius' shoulder "Let's go before they decide to make their own breakfast. I'm not redoing the kitchen when theyblow it up."

"They're three years old Moony, what could they possibly--"

"Sirius, they're yours and James' kids..."

"Point taken."

They went to the kitchen where Harry and Polaris were arguing over what was better, lucky charms or cookie crisp. Lucky charms won and Remus went to get the milk from the fridge.

And that's when they heard it.

The distinct _CRACK_ of someone apperating into the living room.

But this was a very unpleasant _CRACK!_

_"Baiser." _Remus swore quietly in french. Polaris looked up at him. Sirius blinked, confused. Harry muttered a small "Uh oh."

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!"

Oh Merlin...

That _voice!_

His _MOTHER_?

"What the bloody hell is she doing here?" Sirius twitched. Remus just shrugged, looking irritated. Sirius stood to leave the kitchen and saw Polaris stand to follow him. Remus caught her and picked her up "No love."

Sirius went to the living room and there she was. Walberga Black. Standing there in her too elegant, too-perfect velvety black robes. With that bloody silver Black crest sewn into the left breast side, and that ridiculous family motto...Toujours Pur.

_Yeah...Always pure... After centuries of incest, maybe_. Sirius thought bitterly. ((A/N look up the Black family tree. Walberga Black and Orion Black (Sirius' parents) are actually second cousins...isn't that creepy!))

Her once black, now dark gray hair was sotightly pulled back in a bun that it looked almost painful, and her face looked as if she had stepped in something rancid before entering the house.

"Mother." Sirius said as curtly as possible through his gritted teeth.

"Well? Aren't you going to invite me in?" Mrs. Black snapped at her son.

"You seem to have done that all on your own, Mother." Sirius wondered briefly if she could hear the sarcasm dripping from his mouth. "But do sit down." he feigned a sweet smile. His mother eyed him in disgust and took a seat in the armchair by the fireplace. "So." she spat coldly.

"...So..."Sirius repeated slowly.

"Still married to that werewolf, are you?"

Sirius felt his left eye twitched "Yes, Mother...Me and Remus are still married."

"And that brat of yours. Scrawny little thing. She's still around?"

"She's only three years old, of course she is..." Sirius muttered "What do you think we'd do? Get rid of her?"

"I would have." Mrs. Black said, rather matter-of-factly. "Moment I found out _whatit was _I would have done right away with it. Strangled it and left it somewhere."

Sirius' fists clenched "_She_ has a name, Mother. Polaris is my daughter and I love her."

Walberga looked at him over the tip of her pointed, upturned nose "Yes. You do have an affection towards those half humans, don't you?"

"Remus and Polaris are perfectly human, mother."

"They are werewolves, Sirius. Animals." she pursed her lips "you'd do well to listen to your mother..."

Sirius refrained from rolling his eyes.

"Are you still raising that Potter boy?"

"Of course I am."

"Oh." Walberga huffed.

"Mother why are you here?"

"Why, to make sure you haven't done anything else to dishonor your name, Sirius."

"Mother, you disowned me when I was 16. I am not your concern anymore. This is my house and Remus, Polaris and Harry are my family. I don't care about your pureblood mania or any of that shit. I thought I made that clear to you! Why are you here?"

"You're the only one i have left Sirius. Your father and Brother are dead and I thought I could persuade you to stop this foolishness! This...this...fooling around with animals--"

"'Animals' meaning my husband and my daughter...Get out of here...leave."

"Do not speak to your mother that way, Sirius Black."

"My Mother is dead years ago. Her name was Katrina Potter. She adopted me as a son when I had no where else to turn...Something you never saw fit to do. Leave."

And with an angry cry, Walberga disappeared with a vicious _CRACK_.

Polaris, who had obviously been listening at the door, ran in and hugged Sirius around the legs "Dad, up." her voice was smaller even then usual. It was as if she had really understood what had just happened between Sirius and Walberga Black. He nodded and picked her up, and as he held and cuddled her, he tried to understand what would drive a parent to hate their child as much as his mother obviously hated him. The words ran through his head over and over...what she had said about Polaris...That she would have killed her the moment she found out she was a werewolf. But...to Sirius...that made him love her even more.

"Is she gone?" Remus sighed from the doorway to the kitchen. Sirius nodded, still hugging onto Polaris tightly. "Love...are you okay?" Remus asked softly. Sirius nodded again. "...What'd she want?"

"Nothing, Moony. She just wanted to yell at me one last time I guess. I don't know." He muttered into Polaris' midnight black hair.

Remus bit his lip "Oh...I'm sorry, love." Sirius just shook his head "She's not my mother. Mrs. Potter was."

Remus nodded "I know, darling. And James was your brother." Sirius nodded, hugging Polaris tighter. "Padfoot...Are you sure your okay?"

"Yeah...Yeah I'm fine, Sweet." he could tell that his voice told otherwise. he wondered if the kids could tell.Remus shook his head "you're not."

Sirius put Polaris down "Polaris, you and Harry go clean your room, yeah?" Remus put Harry down. they both nodded and ran off to their room.

Remus had his arms around him within seconds. If there was one thing he preferred about his old life to his new one, it was that Walberga Black was still alive in his new life...

"What'd she say to you Padfoot?" Remus asked softly, running his hands through Sirius' long hair. "She just...She came to ask me to come back...She said that staying here...she said my life here with you was foolish...she said that I should have strangled Polaris when we found out that she was...she was..."

"That she was like me?" Remus said quietly. "The doctors suggested that multiple times to my parents when I was bitten...I don't know why they didn't, it would have been better off---"

"Don't you ever say that, Remus!" Sirius said fiercely. "Ever! Do you hear me?"

Remus nodded slowly and rested his head on Sirius' chest "I know...I'm sorry..."

"I hate her so much, Moony." Sirius muttered. Remus didn't say anything. He only listened. Remus was a great listener. "I love you, Padfoot." he said after a moment of silence. "I love you too, Moony."

"I never want Polaris to think I don't love her...ever. Harry too."

"They know you love them, Padfoot."

"And you know I love you too, right?"

"Of course love. And I love you."

They stood there for a few moments, holding each other tightly. until a small, very pleasant POP! Broke them apart.

"Oh! I'm sorry dears! I thought I'd stop by, I didn't man to interrupt." Sirius knew that voice; It was kind and calm and had the slightest French accent, like Remus'. It made him feel fuzzy inside. And warm. And...Hungry for chocolate chip cookies...Remus' mum!

Sirius and Remus broke apart "MUM!" Sirius nearly squealed excitedly.

Sirius had taken to calling Remus' mother 'mum' back in 7th year when he had spent so much time at Remus' house, Mrs. Lupin had claimed that he was one of her own, much like Mrs. Potter had.

Mrs. Lupin hugged and kissed Remus and Sirius. She was a small woman with warm brown eyes and blonde hair and a wonderfully calming smile. But she frowned disapprovingly "You two feel thin. Are you eating enough? You should come over more often for dinner. Now, where're my grandbabies?"

"GRANDMA!" Polaris came running in and was swept up immediately by Mrs. Lupin, followed by Harry with an excited cry of "Grandma Lupin!"

"Grandma what'd you bring me?" Polaris asked, happily.

"Polaris!" Remus frowned.

"Oh Remus, dear, don't be silly, of course I brought something for Polaris and Harry." Mrs. Lupin smiled and reached into her bag pulling out a stuffed bear for Polaris and a toy train for Harry. Satisfied, the three year olds went off to play.

"And you two, I brought you some food. You look like you havnt been eating. Both of you."

"Mum, we're fine, really." Remus sighed.

"You aren't fine, Remy. I could snap you in half, you're so thin!" Mrs. Lupin fussed. She turned to Sirius "you've probably been working hard in Auror training, love. You need to eat more."

"Yes, Mum."

"Is Remus feeding you well?"

"Mum! Cut it out!" Remus was blushing.

"Remy, I'm your mother and you are my baby! Your my youngest, It's my job to check up on you."

Remus was the youngest of 5 in his family. And no matter how hard he hid it...  
He was a mama's boy.

"Remus, you look pale. Are you sick? How are your transformations lately? You've been taking that new potion, haven't you?"

"Mummy, stop!" Remus' voice was slowly turning to a whine that made Sirius laugh.

"I worry about you, baby!"

"I take good care of him, mum." Sirius chirped pleasently.

"I know you do, dear!" she gave him a kiss on the cheek and smiled fondly at him. "Such a fine man you've grown into, Sirius. I remember what a little thing you used to be! Oh you were

such a charming young lad even then..."

Sirius grinned proudly, even Remus was smiling a bit, nodding in agreement with his mother.

"Oh Remus you're so lucky to have such a wonderful man..."

Remus blushed "Yeah I know, mum. I'm very lucky."

"Now, into the kitchen. I'm going to have you two well fed! Go on!" Mrs Lupin hurried them into the kitchen.

"Mum, me and Sirius are fine, you know...you don't have to cook for us or anything...we eat enough."

"Nonsense, Remy. You're both skin and bones! Are you even eating at all, love?"

"Of course I'm eating! Mummy, I'm a grown man! I'm married, I have kids, I can take care of myself!"

Sirius was all too amused by this.

"Remy, hush and sit down and let mummy cook for you."

"But--"

"Remus John!"

"Fine..." Remus grumbled and sat next to Sirius at the table, rolling his eyes and resting his head on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius smiled and kissed him gently and Remus tried hiding his smile by burying his face in Sirius' shoulder.

Most of the rest of the morning consisted of Remus getting embarrassed by his mother's constant nagging about ho thin they were, and stuffing food down their throats. At around noon, she turned to the couple, smiling sweetly "You two should take a day to yourselves. Why don't I take the kids for the rest of the day, and you can go off and have a nice day alone together?" Remus seemed to brighten up "Really?" Mrs. Lupin patted her son lightly on the cheek "Of course, love. You know I adore them!"

"Mum, you really don't have to..." Remus insisted.

"Remus, darling, when's the last time you two had a nice night together with out worrying about the kids running around?"

Sirius shrugged because he honestly had no idea. He wondered how long it HAD been...Remus chewed his lip. "Okay...but if they tire you out---"

"Remy, I raised 5 children. And you and your brother and sisters were far worse then Polaris and Harry are."

"You don't know how they can get." Remus smiled "Especially Polaris."

"Darling, they'll be fine." Mrs. Lupin assured. Sirius smiled at Remus "C'mon love, I'd like to have a night with just us..." Remus looked up at him "Well...okay then..."

Sirius beamed at him. Mrs. Lupin sighed happily "Well then, I'll go and help them pack their bags. They can spend the night with me and give the two of you some privacy."

Remus nodded "Okay Mum."

By 12:45, Polaris and Harry were packed up for a night at grandma's house. Remus looked nervous about having them spend the night anywhere but home. But that was just him being overly protective.

Remus looked around the house, blinking "It's... So quiet..."

Sirius nodded "So...What do you want to do?" Remus raised an eyebrow at him and within seconds, Sirius was pressed against the wall with Remus' lips attached to his neck, and Remus' hands rapidly undoing his too-tight jeans. Sirius had forgotten how much he loved when Remus got like this...dominant and demanding and almost wild...he gasped as Remus' teeth sunk into his bare shoulder.

And then he stopped. Remus pulled away from him. Sirius pouted, not liking that one bit. "Moooooonyyyy!" he whined. Remus silenced him by pressing a finger to his lips, and started to undress slowly. Oh yes, that still did it for Sirius...seeing Remus undress so slowly in front of him...if he wasn't rock hard already, he certainly was now. He bit his lip as Remus discarded his boxers (the silky black ones with the paw prints on them that he had actually bought for Sirius in 7th year...) this made him even hornier...Remus was wearing Sirius' own boxers..._ Merlin..._

He grinned at the sight of Remus standing completely naked in front of him. He could practically _feel_ his eyes cloud over with lust. "C'mere you..."

Remus pressed their bodies together, smiling up at him. Sirius kissed him passionately, running his tongue along his bottom lip, begging for access to his love's hot mouth, which was willingly granted of course. Remus' hands ran slowly down Sirius' chest, making him moan softly, and then again, louder when Remus' long, talented fingers wrapped around his hard cock. "Mmm...Oh...Oh yes...Love, yes..." Sirius thrust into Remus' hand as his thumb ran over the head, gathering up some pre cum. Sirius let out a strangled moan as Remus'hand left his cock and went to Sirius' mouth for him to lick up the pearly, creamy substance on his fingers, making Remus' eyes cloud up and look almost yellowish rather then gold. Sirius suckedMoony's fingers clean and, knowing this routine far too well, spread his legs willingly.Moony's fingers left Sirius' mouth, moved down to his lover's ass, and, now slick with pre cum and saliva, slid into him. Sirius felt himself tighten around Moony's fingers, squirming at the thought of being prepared by his own pre cum and spit.He wrapped his arms aroundMoony's neck and carefully wrapped his legs around his waist.The fingers were gone soon but were quickly replaced byMoony's erection...And _oh_ how it felt to be filled byhis mateagain...

"Moony...Please..." Sirius was practically whimpering with need. Moony growled against his neck, which he had been licking, kissing, sucking and biting and Sirius shivered. Then Moony started to thrust in and out of him, hard. It felt so very perfect.Sirius' nails dug into Moony's shoulders as they both moaned for each other. Soon Moony's hand, the one not supporting Sirius' weight, was on Sirius' cock again, pumping and stroking quickly in time with his wild thrusts. Sirius tightened around him as he couldn't hold back any longer and came all over Moony's hand and both of their stomachs, and after a few more trusts Moony was coming too...and he was nearly howling. Sirius kissed him hard "I love you Moony..."

Remus' eyes went back to normal as he carefully pulled out of his lover and brought his cum-covered hand up to Sirius' lips. Sirius gladly licked him clean, lapping at his hand like the dog he was. "Moony loves you too, Padfoot." Remus smiled tiredly. Remus often got very sleepy after sex, especially sex like that, where the wolf had come out to play. ((A/N: sorry,I must have a moment here. Notice how Remus is referred to as Moony throughout that whole sex scene? He let the wolf take over and therefore, he was no longer Remus, but Moony... ok... sorry to interrupt... back to the fic )) More times than not, Remus would simply want to lie in bed or on the couch and cuddle for hours on end. And it seemed that he was in that mood right about now, as he leaned heavily against his lover, nuzzling his shoulder. They made their way over to the couch and Sirius pulled Remus into his lap, letting him cuddle to his heart's content.

Sirius had never been much of a cuddler until he had started going out with Remus when he was 16. There had been something about the werewolf that made Sirius want to hold him in his arms and never let go, nuzzling and kissing him forever. And after sex like that, it was nice to have Remus in his lap, snuggling up to him and pressing kisses to his chest, shoulder and cheek. Sometimes even licking at the spot behind his ear gently.

They sat like that for maybe an hour, possibly longer; with Remus kissing his neck and Sirius stroking Remus' soft, dark blonde/ almost brown hair. They didn't say much at all accept for the occasional "I love you." Followed by a soft tender kiss to the lips.

Eventually, Remus nipped gently at his ear and said quietly "It's nice not having the kids around…forgot how nice it was to sit around with you like this."

Sirius nodded and tightened his arms around his love.

They spent most of the day lounging lazily around the house and cuddling up to each other, enjoying the silence. At around 6 Remus got up to make diner, deciding on something simple that wouldn't take too long so they could get back to...more enjoyable things. It only took about an hour to cook, serve and eat their dinner (pasta) before they were back in bed, kissing each other lazily. And then Sirius pulled away, much to Remus' disappointment. Remus opened his mouth to protest and Sirius quickly shushed him, kissing him soundly on he lips "I'll be right back."

Sirius made his way into the kitchen (which he was starting to have memorized already, thankfully.) And searched through the cabinets, finally finding what he was looking for, a bottle of rather expensive looking Champaign. He got two glasses out of the cabinet and set them down on the counter before conjuring up a plate of chocolate covered strawberries (Remus' favorite, if memory served correctly, which it always did when it came to his lover.) and made his way back to the bedroom.

Remus was sprawled across the bed in a very seductive manner, in Sirius' opinion, and he looked up when Sirius came in the door. "Siri, what were you---Champaign?" a slow smile appeared on his face "Love, what's the occasion? We never drink Champaign."

Sirius set the strawberries on the bedside table, grinning "I just feel like having a romantic night with you...but if you don't want to, I understand...I just don't know what I'll do with those though..." he nodded to the strawberries and saw Remus' eyes widen and glaze over slightly. Sirius chuckled softly and poured the Champaign into the two classes. The drank silently and Remus scooted a little closer to Sirius, resting his head on his shoulder. Sirius reached over a took a strawberry from the plate and held it to Remus' lips. Remus grinned and opened his mouth to take the offered treat, only to have it pulled teasingly away from him. Remus pouted and looked up at his love, who simply smiled and brought it back to his lips, letting him take it. Remus moaned as the juice filled his mouth and Sirius grinned "Good?"

Remus nuzzled his neck "Mmm, wonderful...I love you."

"I love you too." He fed Remus another strawberry, slowly dragging it along Remus' lower lip before letting his lover take it between those perfect, sharp, white teeth. And those noises Remus was making...Oh merlin...those moans and pleasurable whimpers. Sirius smirked to himself, knowing those noises very well indeed. They were moony's passion noises...Pretty soon he'd start---

_" Oh oui mon amour..." _speaking french.

Sirius grinned. There were three things that made Remus speak french,

1. Extremely passionate sex.

2. getting him overly pissed off.

and 3. CHOCOLATE.

He started nuzzling Sirius' shoulder. _"Faites-moi l'amour, le chéri." _

Sirius' stomach squirmed pleasurably. Remus hardly ever asked for sex like that. And that little french accent was just too sexy.

"Yes love."

_"Je vous aime..."_

I love you too." He kissed Remus passionately, coaxing him into lying down and straddling his waist.

_"oui..."_

Sirius nuzzled his cheek "Love..."

_"Non, mon amour. aucune conversation, juste le sexe..."_

Sirius ground down against him "As much as I agree, darling, do you think we're over doing it a bit? We're a bit old to have such...er...active libidos..."

he yelped as Remus pinched his ass sharply. "_Je ne suis pas vieux!"_

Sirius ground their hips together again and they both moaned "I wasn't calling you old, love."

"_Fait taire etmoi baisent, Siri_"

"Yes love." And he proceeded to fulfill his lover's wishes. Remus came rather quickly (having gotten off twice already in the same day, in less then 12 hours as well.) with a cry of "_Oui, mon amour! Je vous aime!" _And Sirius followed just after, moaning Remus' name.

Afterwards, Remus got back into his cuddle-mode. he snuggled up to Sirius' chest, panting softly and nuzzling. "_Je vous aime." _he whispered sleepily against his chest. "_le mien_. _Mon Siri."_

Sirius nodded and kissed the top of his head "Yes love. Always yours. My Remi. Always."

_"Toujours et pour toujours...?"_

"Always and forever." Sirius nodded.

"I love you Siri."

"I love you too Rem."

Remus yawned and nuzzled Sirius' bare chest, drifting to sleep andSirius held him close until he too fell asleep.

((A/N: While the pups are sleeping, here's an authors note or two for you...Sirius does not speak french. He understands very little bits and phrases from hearing Remus speak it and he can pretty much get the gist of what is being said. in other stories I write where Remus begins to ramble in french, Sirius may have no clue what's going on. Just clearing that up. And there will be translations at the end of the fic, as well as some more notes on characters and such. thanks.))

The next morning, Sirius was rudely awoken by the noise of, what sounded like, a muggle alarm clock, at around 5:30 am. he sat up groggily in bed and looked around to turn the bloody thing off and drift back in to his peaceful slumber with his husband, who was sleeping quite blissfully at his side. But the bloody thing was nowhere to be found. he felt Remus stir beside him.

"Sirius, turn that bloody thing off and get ready for work. I've still got three hours of sleep and I intend on using them."

That's right work...work...Where did he work again? Fuckfuckfuck!

Remus opened one eye "Sirius Black you turn that bloody thing off or someone is going to have to explain to Moody that he needs a new apprentice because I committed mariticide..." ((Mariticide: the killing of ones own husband))

_Ah, yes. I'm an auror..._

The damned thing continued to go off. Remus sat up and got his wand from the bedside table "_Finite Incantartum..."_

And it stopped. Remus set his wand down and snuggled back up to his pillow. Sirius got out of bed and got dressed. He leaned over and kissed Remus on the cheek "Bye love."

Remus smiled sleepily "Be careful darling.I love you."

"I love you too." Sirius took his wand and placed it in his belt.

"Don't let Moody over-work you today."

"I wont." And he apperated to the ministry.

Surprisingly enough, getting into the ministry hadn't been as hard as he originally thought it would have been. Most people there new him and let him pass right through. He had been expecting a bit more security on the ministry's side, but he guessed that he had been working there for quite some time. He was pleased to find that he had his own office as well, down the hall way labeled Aurors and Trainees. and what was even better, inside his office, at his desk...

There was a spinning chair!

And it spun around...and around...and---

Nauseous! So very nauseous!

There was a knock at the door and Sirius stopped spinning his chair. "Come in..."

Mad-eye Moody came limping in, making a quiet _clunk..clunk..._ noise.

"Black." Moody nodded to him

"Hello Mad-eye.''

"stop spinning that chair, Black, you'll make yourself sick again.'' Moody growled. Sirius felt himself blush. "sorry sir. couldn't help myself." he smirked. Moody nodded ''How's Lupin?"

Sirius smirked ''He's great."

"Still having trouble finding work? I have a friend who'd be willing to hire him. Needs a tutor."

Sirius nodded ''I'll mention it." come to think of it, he wasn't sure weather or not Remus had a job...and if he didn't, he knew Remus wouldn't accept a job offer from a friend. He'd consider it charity.

"And Polaris and Potter? How are they? Getting big, I hear."

Sirius nodded "Yeah they are."

"Good. You're a good father to those kids, Black."

Sirius grinned "thank you mad-eye."

Mad-eye nodded "You're on security in the Department of mysteries today, Black. you need to be in there in twenty minutes.

Sirius looked at his watch "Okay."

''good man, Black.'' mad-eye left the room. Sirius stood and got ready to head to the Department of mysteries. Some how, those words didn't settle right with him...like de je vu...He shrugged it off and followed the signs to the Department of mysteries.

As soon as he opened the door to the department of mysteries, he realized why he felt that way.

_Shit...I shouldn't be here..._

"I shouldn't be here..." he muttered under his breath.

"Right you are, Cousin. You shouldnt."

_...Bellatrix._

Sirius took out his wand and turned to face his cousin. "Bellatrix." he growled, but his insides were squirming. This couldn't happen again...not again...No. He had too much to live for this time.

"What are you doing here, Bella?"

Bellatrix just grinned at him "I've come to collect something for the dark lord, cousin. And I'm afraid in order to do so, you'll have to die!" she muttered a curse and a jet of red light flew from her wand and Sirius blocked it, throwing a curse back at her which was also blocked. As the cousins battled they moved closer and closer to the veil without noticing. Bellatrix smirked triumphantly "This is where you're going to die, cousin. You know it. I see it in your eyes...Just like last time..."

Sirius' eyes widened...how did she know abou---

"_Stupify!" _

Sirius felt the curse hit him in the chest. again.

And then his world went dark. Again.

_No...nonono...not again...no, please...I cant die again! No. Remus...Polaris...Harry...I'm sorry...No, please..._

"Sirius..."

He could hear Remus' voice.

"Sirius...Love, come back to me..."

_I cant Remus, im dead._

"Wake up, love."

"He must have hit his head pretty hard, mate."

_...wait a second...James?_

Well I suppose it was a bit of a shock for him, wasn't it?"

_Lily?_

He felt familiar hands on his forehead. _Remus..._

Siri, wake up darling..."

_Cant. Cant I'm dead. I'm dead and I'm hearing things._

Siri..."

_I'm dead, cant you see that Moony?_

"Sirius, you aren't dead, mate."

"yes I am and so are you..."

"You aren't dead, Sirius."

"Everything's black..."

"Well, you have you're eyes closed, mate."

Sirius opened his eyes slowly. He was lying on the floor of the living room in the appartment he shared with Remus and James back when they graduated Hogwarts. His head was in Remus' lap and Remus was gently running his fingers through his hair. "You fainted, Padfoot."

"...Fainted?" he tried to sit up but his head hurt to much.

"Yea. Right after Moony gave you the big news. I know it must have been a shock, Pads, but honestly...you _fainted?" _

Wh-what?"

"Let's try this again," Remus smiled "Padfoot, we're going to have a baby."

Sirius frowned and sat up "We have a baby already...And James and Lily..you two are supposed to be...you were dead...and...It was my fault! But...no, it wasn't _my_ fault. Everyone just thought it was, and Peter was really to blame but I went to Azkaban anyway And then I died and Regulus sent me back and---"

"Shh...Sirius, you must have been dreaming." Remus said calmly, still stroking his hair.

"Dreaming?"

"You've been unconscious for almost an hour. We were worried." Lily sighed, resting a hand over her own swelling stomach. _She must be pregnant with Harry..._

"...So...It was a dream?"

"It must have been...That mind of yours comes up with some crazy things, mate." James grinned.

Sirius nodded slowly "Yeah...Yeah it does..." he was still frowning "So...let me get this straight...I fainted after Remus told me that...that..."

"That I'm pregnant." Remus nodded "Yes."

"...And we're having a baby?" Sirius blinked. Remus chuckled and kissed him gently "That is usually what being pregnant leads to, yes."

"So now that that is cleared up...I'm hungry. Lunch time!" James grinned "C'mon Pads, get up."

Sirius stood slowly with Remus, who's arms were placed lovingly around his waist. They went into the kitchen where James made some wise crack about Remus and Lily being housewives, earning him a slap upside the head by both of them and Lily made lunch ("Lily, I was kidding! I'll make lunch! let me help!" "Like I'm about to let you anywhere near a stove!") Perhaps it had all really been a dream...As he sat there with Remus nuzzling his neck, he realized he did remember the day before (Remus hadnt been feeling good in the morning, he and James argued about quidditch in the after noon, and he had had mindblowing sex with Remus at night...) and the day before that...(Quiditch game with James in the front yard. Remus didn't participate, claiming he was feeling nauseous. sex after lunch, more sex after dinner...) Everything else...Voldemort...Azkaban...Bellatrix...it must have all been a dream...

But it didn't matter, he decided as he listened to Lily and James argue, and Remus nibbled his ear. What mattered was what was happening now...And this...this was what was meant to be...

Some Months Later

"SIRIUS BLACK I'LL NEVER LET YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN!"

"Moony, please! you're hurting my hand!"

"DONT YOU TELL ME ABOUT PAIN, SIRIUS!"

"Oww! Moony! You broke my hand!"

"BON ! PEUT-ÊTRE Je DEVRAIS CASSER VOS BOULES AUSSI BIEN, VOUS N'AURAI PAS BESOIN D'ELLES APRÈS CECI !"

"Moony!"

"Siri! Il blesse... font l'arrêt de douleur!"

"I cant make the pain stop love..." Sirius sighed sympathetically despite the pain in his hand.

"Siri!"

Remus' cry was interrupted by the wailing of a small(unnaturally small actually) infant.

"It's a girl!"

"...a girl?" Remus breathed as his body relaxed.

"Moony we have a baby girl..." Sirius grinned. One of the nurses came over to fix his hand with a spell and Remus blinked "Love, what happened to your hand?"

The nurse just smiled "it happens all the time."

Another nurse came over with a bundle of pink blankets that held their baby. Remus held her first.

"Oh..Siri, look...she's so small..." he smiled as the baby grabbed his finger in her tiny little hand.

"Well, she is a month premature. But she's healthy. We still have to run some extra tests on her because or your lycanthropy, Mr Lupin, but that can wait until later."

Remus nodded slowly, still focusing on the baby he was cradling in his arms.

A nurse took out a clip bored and a quill "What's her name?"

"Polaris." Sirius and Remus both answered at once. "her name is Polaris Aphrodite Lupin-Black." Sirius smiled and Remus looked up at him with adoring eyes.

"Wonderful!" The nurse said cheerfully. "Polaris Aphrodite Lupin-Black. 17 inches long. 5 lbs,9 ounces. hair: Black, eyes...hmm...they're really more of a gold than a brown..." she jotted that down on the clip bored.

Little Polaris had stopped her crying and gave a small hiccup, making her fathers smile and laugh. Remus looked up at Sirius "Siri...Would you like to hold her now?"

Sirius smiled "yeah." Remus handed Polaris to him. She was perfect in Sirius' eyes. Very small, with a small tuft of black hair on her head, and great big gold eyes like Remus'. Her fingers and toes were allso tiny... Sirius felt like he was holding a doll. A doll that kept blinking at him and hiccupping...

Behind him, James cleared his throat loudly "Well?"

"It's a girl." Remus smiled fondly.

"Oh! I just knew you'd have a girl!" Lily squealed, holding baby Harry (now 2 months old)close to her. "What's her name?"

"Polaris." Sirius said, still gazing down at his daughter.

Lily smiled "That's perfect."

There was a knock at the door and they all turned to see who it was. Regulus Black stood in the doorway, smirking slightly at his brother "So...I heard I was an uncle."

Remus looked up at him and smiled "Yes. You have a niece, Regulus. Polaris." Regulus went up beside his brother and looked down at the baby "She's tiny."

Sirius nodded "yeah...She is."

"She looks just like you, Sirius." Regulus grinned.

"She's got Remus' eyes." Lily cooed.

Polaris yawned. "And Sirius' big mouth." James smirked, earning a slap upside the head from his wife.

"So can I see my niece or what?" Regulus smirked. Sirius looked at his little brother and nodded "Yeah...of course..." he handed the baby carefully to his brother. Regulus sat on the edge of the bed and Sirius sat next to him. "I dont think I've ever seen such a small baby...heh...those eyes are almost too big for the rest of her."

Remus chuckled "She'll grow into them."

"Yeah. like a puppy when it's paws and ears are too big." James laughed. "But I guess she is a puppy, with you two being her parents."

Regulus gave Polaris back to Remus. "I need to get going. Mother will have a fit when she finds out where I've been."

"You know you're welcome to stay with us, Regulus..." Remus looked up at him. Regulus nodded "Yeah, maybe. Once the baby gets settled in." He and Sirius stood and hugged each other. "Congratulations."

"Thanks Regulus."

Regulus went to leave, but before he did, Sirius could swear he saw his brother wink knowingly at him.

"Padfoot, can I talk to you for a minute?" James ran a hand though his messy hair.

Sirius nodded "Sure thing mate." they left Lily and Remus to coo over baby Polaris.

"Listen, remember a while ago you were saying we might wan to switch secret keepers to Peter? I was wondering if you still though it was a good ide--"

"NO! No...whatever I said, forget I said it! No. I'm going to be your secret keeper." Sirius said quickly. James blinked "Er...Okay then." he smirked. They went back into the room and Sirius took his spot next to Remus on the bed and they all began to fuss over Polaris again.

yes...This was What Was Meant To be...

END

* * *

A/N: "My Pet" will be updated shortly! sorry for the wait, I wanted to finish this first! 

While writing this, I had sooo many ways I wanted to end it but I finally decided on this ending which was actually my friend Nick's idea, so thank you Nick! Also, Polaris will appear in other fics as well and I should mention she belongs to me and my dear friend Patty, isnt she adorable?

Anything in this fic about The Black Family is pretty much true according to JKR, such as the incest comment lol.

Comments about the Lupin Family are mine. His mother, his five brothers and sisters...

the quote in the beginning "That's how I'll be remembered! Sirius Black, becomes an Animagi, escapes azkaban, foils the ministry and...is killed by fucking drapes!"

is from me and my friends at the lunch table lol.

Hmm...who elseneeds credit...Ooo! Snuffles The Stuffed Black Dog. I actually have one from when i was little. ironic, ne? Snuffles the black dog... lol.

Ooo French translations! hehe you need those!

* * *

_"Baiser." __Remus swore quietly in french (_Baiser means "Fuck") 

_" Oh oui mon amour..." (( Oh Yes my love...)) _

_"Faites-moi l'amour, le chéri." (( make love to me darling))_

_"Je vous aime..." ((I love you)) _

_"Non, mon amour. aucune conversation, juste le sexe..." ((No talking my love, just sex))_

_"Je ne suis pas vieux!" ((I am NOT old!")) _

"_Fait taire etmoi baisent, Siri_" ((_Shut up and fuck me, Siri))_

"_Oui, mon amour! Je vous aime!" ((Yes my love, I love you!)) _

"_Je vous aime." _he whispered sleepily against his chest. "_le mien_. _Mon Siri." ((I love you" ... "Mine. My Siri." ))_

___"Toujours et pour toujours...?" (( Always and forever?)) _

"BON ! PEUT-ÊTRE Je DEVRAIS CASSER VOS BOULES AUSSI BIEN, VOUS N'AURAI PAS BESOIN D'ELLES APRÈS CECI !" ((_GOOD! MAYBE I'LL BREAK YOUR BALLS AS WELL! YOU WONT BE NEEDING THEM AFTER THIS!)) _

"Siri! Il blesse... font l'arrêt de douleur!" ((Siri, it hurts...make the pain stop! ))

* * *

So yeah...those are the traslations... 

ummm...anything else, just let me know and i'll be happy to answer questions

Dont forget to review!

and shut up about spelling errors im too lazy to run a spell check and its not like im trying to be a famous author! and if you flame...well...i dont care. i'll call the fire department.


	2. surprise surprise!

A/N: Surprise, Surprise! I know this was going to be a one shot fic, but a lot of people were demanding to see more Polaris yes, she's adorable, I know. So, I wanted to ask you all if you had some fic ideas for Polaris. Just tell me what you'd like to see from her and i'll do my best to write it for you or at least answer what happens with her lol. thankies :) 

Oh, and to those of you who think they'r tough shit and wanna yell at me fr my use of french in this fic, 

Je suis désolé. J'ai appris le français dans le collège et le havnt parlé lui en années. Je dirais cela considérant comment peu de la langue je savent, j'ai bien fait le joli rien, ainsi fermez votre fichue bouche et obtenez au-dessus d'elle. En outre, quelques mots en français ont de doubles significations selon la manière qu'ils sont employés. merci, chiffons d'âne. 


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